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Post No. 60 (Of teen parties and sex education Part I)

November 17, 2011

A few weeks back I remember feeling thoroughly scandalised reading about the excesses at these teen parties. “It’s an aberration,” I clearly remember telling my wife. “What would twenty-somethings want to be doing near tweens?”

Sure enough, the Sunday after, The Sunday Times carried a headline that said that an organiser of these teen parties had been convicted of having sex with a thirteen year old. How’s that for coincidence? I hitched up my smug-meter a notch and left it at that.

Last week – or was it the week before? – we and some friends of ours took the kids to a fun park -like thing to make them expend some energy, sleep early and allow us to quaff a couple of beers in relative peace. One of us is a PSD teacher; he told us that they’re starting sex education as early as 8 or 9 years (I can’t remember the age precisely).

I was transfixed.

“Why are you teaching children how to make babies?”

“Oh, it’s not like that. To begin with it’s age-appropriate and secondly, it’s against the law not to.”

So, let’s see…

Switching on your telly and heading straight for one of those music channels, like my wife is wont to do, you’re bound to see not one, not two, perhaps ten or even hundreds, of scantily clad women gyrating their hips and flashing their wobbly bits like there’s no tomorrow. I’m male, 38, married (at the time of writing 😉 ) and I have two lovely sons. I can tell a sexually-loaded wotsit when I see one.

The newly pubescent seem to really sponge up these things. So we have Kayliegh-Aaliyah wriggling her child’s body, like her life depended on it, in a simulacrum of the sexually suggestive dances she’s just seen on television. She doesn’t know what she’s doing, of course. Then along comes a bunch of do-gooders and starts talking about willies and front bottoms. (It is age appropriate you know). As if an eight year old needs to be told what s/he’s got down there. With her freshly gleaned knowledge, Kayliegh-Aaliyah now has a suspicion that her hooha is not only for weewee.

Mind you, I’m all for sex education. But it has to be given at the right time. I know that not all boys and girls sprout hair and bumps within a week of each other just before starting secondary school, but it might help to start breaking it gently when Rosie reports seeing a bump or a few hairs, or when Ronald starts to squeak in mid-sentence. Context is everything. And you don’t go the whole hog. You don’t have to mention hypoxyphilia at the first sitting, for instance.

Then, to really entrench myself in my position, I learnt that some time ago, to get an idea of the level at which they should start, said do-gooders set up a suggestion-box sort of thing where the students would ask – anonymously – any question that came to mind. The organisers may have been inspired by the title of that Woody Allen film. The questions ranged from pet care to video games. I’m told that the closest they came to sex was a question about why a student’s hair is curly whereas his/her teacher’s is straight. And its relation to sex is tenuous, as shown in the schematic below:

Fig 0.0 Ridiculous association of hair and sex

My point is that an early interest in sex is unhealthy. We definitely want to give our children all the information they need. And it has to be good quality information. But it has to be meted out in sizes they can chew and are mentally and physically capable of understanding.

That’s the first part of the gripe over and done with. There’s more to come, rest assured.


From → The Gripevine

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